by Betty Burrows, PhD

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Please copy/paste the following text to properly cite this How Stuff Works article:

Burrows, Betty.  "How Stress Works."  11 September 2006.  HowStuffWorks.com. <http://health.howstuffworks.com/how-stress-works.htm>  10 October 2008.
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How to Reduce Stress

You will need your list of stress triggers that you made on the last page to take advantage of the advice on this page. In this section, we will show you what to do about the triggers you've categorized.

The E-List

Once you've categorized your list of stressors into Es, Rs, and Cs, you're ready to get busy. Start by separating out your E-list -- the list of stressors you've decided you can eliminate from your life. Take a good look at this new list. As you do, inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. If you're like most people, you should already be feeling somewhat better.

If you've got a short E-list, consider the following ways to add items:
  • Is your working environment (or your boss) beyond coping with? If possible, make a note to start preparing your resume and looking for a new job.

  • Is caffeine making you jumpy? Make a commitment to gradually reduce and then eliminate your intake of caffeinated tea, coffee, and soda.

    ou might want to consider cutting it out of your diet.
    ©2006 Publications International, Ltd.
    If your morning cup of coffee is winding you up,
    you might want to consider cutting it out of your diet.

  • Are you losing sleep because you're awakened every morning by the noise of a newly opened airport in your neighbourhood? If you've tried earplugs but don't get relief, consider finding a new place to live.
The goal of this exercise is to be as creative as possible without being extreme. There's no harm in taking a strong stand on issues that have a considerable effect on your sanity. The trick is to measure the impact of your stressors and weigh the costs of eliminating them against the toll they take on your health and well-being.

The R-List

Like the E-list, the R-list is about controlling the external forces that repeatedly get the better of you. Although the E-list offers instant gratification by literally erasing your worries, the R-list requires a bit more creativity. It is about reorganizing and reprioritizing. It is about making some unavoidable stressors seem more tolerable.

Here are some tried-and-true R-list techniques:

Invest in an appointment organizer. When you have so much to do and so little time to do it, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. It can't clear your schedule for you, but an appointment diary, an electronic organizer, or a simple pocket-size date book can help ease the stress of having to remember what you're supposed to be doing within the next 15 minutes. And for some people, being able to glance quickly at the day's priorities can offer reassurance and a sense of direction and control.

Discover the underrated art of making lists. In addition to keeping a daily, weekly, and monthly schedule, list-making can help clear an overly cluttered mind. While some people find lists a bit compulsive, others find that they help ease the strain of trying to remember everything or the stress that can come with forgetting things.

Keeping lists and getting organized can help reduce your stress level.
©2006 Publications International, Ltd.
Keeping lists and getting organized can help reduce your stress level.

The idea is to take worries off your mind and put them on a list. There's no need to worry about forgetting something when you know it's safely noted either electronically or on paper.

Once you've created your list, prioritize the tasks on it. If any of the tasks seems too overwhelming or too time-consuming for you to ever get through, try breaking it into smaller, discrete, "doable" stages or steps that you can accomplish in the time periods you have available.

If you find making daily or weekly lists helpful, consider trying what the master list-makers do: Maintain two lists--one for short-term tasks you need to do today or this week and a long-term list of goals you need to get done within the month or the year. Call the latter your "in time" list. It can include house- or car-maintenance needs, purchases you need to make, or tasks you need to get done (such as cleaning out the garage). It doesn't matter what you put down, only that you let yourself believe that if it is on the list, you'll take care of it at some point.

Seek gentle compromise. Many stressful situations -- even those that can't be entirely eliminated -- can be eased through negotiation. For example, if you are suffering because your boss is keeping you at work until all hours of the night, try to work out a plan that suits both your needs. Suggest that you are happy to work late one or two nights a week, as long as you can go home on time the rest of the days. If a neighbour's stereo wakes you up at six o'clock every morning, negotiate a time for quiet and a time for noise. You're not getting rid of these stressors, but you are reducing their strength.

Reorganize your life. Once you have started making a schedule and keeping lists, consult them each morning before you start your day. Try to figure out where you can combine tasks in order to reduce the amount of energy it takes to get them done. See if you can put some items off until the weekend, when you'll have larger blocks of time available for running errands. Coordinate tasks, so you can accomplish more at once (such as dropping the dry cleaning off on your way to work and paying the bills while the casserole is in the oven).

Think of every hour that you organize away as an hour that you will be able to spend relaxing. If you organize well enough, you may stop feeling as though you are drowning under the weight of your many responsibilities.

Change your priorities. Whenever you find yourself becoming truly overwhelmed, take five minutes and rank the items on your to-do list in order of importance. Then, proceed from top to bottom. Even if you can't get everything done, at least you can be secure in the fact that you've dealt with the most important ones.

If your list of daily tasks starts to spill over onto the next page and beyond, perform the ranking exercise described above, then draw a cutoff line. Move everything below the line to the next day. And don't panic: Your world will not fall apart if something has to be moved to the following day.

Let Go of the Reins

Trying to be perfect can add greatly to your stress level. If you feel that you have to accomplish everything perfectly, you're sure to feel a lot of pressure. These tips can help you tone down your perfectionism:

Try the "how-important-is-it?" technique. When you find yourself stressed over your house being a bit untidy or because you're running late for an appointment, ask yourself how important it is if you put the cleaning off or show up 10 minutes late. Play out the worst-case scenario in your head (your mother-in-law dropping by and thinking you are a bad housekeeper, your lunch date leaving the restaurant before you arrive).

Sometimes, it really may be important that you perform perfectly. Many times, however, you'll be able to convince yourself the world will understand if you are human. The latter, more forgiving attitude can help reduce your stress level significantly.

Delegate tasks. Many people live by the motto "If you want it done right, do it yourself." This attitude can keep you overwhelmed by leaving you with an overly large volume of work.

Learning to let go of responsibility can send you on your way to relaxation.
©2006 Publications International, Ltd.
Learning to let go of responsibility
can send you on your way to relaxation.

Using the how-important-is-it technique described above, ask yourself what the worst-case situation would be if you delegated a task to someone who performed it poorly or, worse, didn't perform it at all. Then try playing out a more realistic scenario where, perhaps, the person gets the task done, although less perfectly than you would have done.

When you do delegate a task, take steps to reduce possible error by clearly stating your expectations and finding sources of help you trust to carry out your instructions well.

Practice imperfection. This is not to suggest you purposely mess up important projects, but simply that you give yourself a break once in a while. For example, when you're exhausted, save the dishes for tomorrow and go to bed. When you're really overwhelmed, reschedule an appointment or try to rework a deadline. The reduction in your stress level will make you even more productive when you do get a chance to take care of what you've put off.

Set Aside "Me" Time

Feeling stressed is a strong signal from your subconscious mind that something is wrong in your life. Somehow, you are not getting your needs met. More than likely, you're devoting more time to work, meeting other people's needs, or dealing with a troubling situation (such as the loss of your job or the breakup of your marriage) than you are taking good care of yourself. Even if you must continue to overextend yourself for a certain length of time, it's important to make space for yourself in your busy schedule.

Here are some tips for getting enough "me" time:

Take a lunch break. Even if you have a very demanding job, make an effort to schedule a midday break, even if just for 20 minutes or so. Use the time to walk around the block, collect yourself, breathe deeply, and relax. You'll be amazed at how much good a short break can do.

Don't fill your day. Leave one hour of time unscheduled every weekday and two (or more) hours a day on weekends. Make it a rule and live by it. Everyone needs a little time off.

During your hour, don't pay bills, clean dishes, or sort mail. Take the phone off the hook. Use this time to do relaxing activities: Take a bath, lie down, meditate, read a book, or watch television. Or, if your body needs it, use the time for a healthful activity, such as a brisk walk or some gardening.

Go to bed early. If at the end of the day you feel as if there's still so much left to do, pretend that your day has ended and go to bed early. Once alone, grab a good book or listen to relaxing music with headphones. And don't feel guilty. This is perfectly healthy behaviour.

Vent feelings on paper. Keeping a diary of your feelings can be a healthy way to blow off steam. It can also serve as an effective stress "barometer," allowing you to gauge how much pressure you are under and what effect it's having on you. Here are some guidelines for keeping a stress journal:
  • Choose blank pages. Don't buy one of those books that post the date on top of every page. Instead, invest in a free-form notebook of some sort. This way, if you miss writing for many days, you won't feel guilty. Your notebook doesn't need to be anything fancy. Even a spiral bound school notebook works.

  • Take a breath before you plunge in. Before you start to write, spend a few minutes with your eyes closed, trying to get in touch with all the feelings you have at the moment. Are you angry? Tired? Overwhelmed? Relaxed? Sad? Happy? Open your eyes and write down all the feelings that come to mind.

  • Describe the day's events. Write about what led you to have the feelings you have now. This might clue you in to some of the reasons you feel stressed.

  • List any worries you have in the back of your mind. We are not always consciously aware of what is bothering us. Getting it down on paper may give you some insight.

  • Try writing a note of encouragement to yourself. Writing to yourself as though you were writing to a dear friend who needs cheering up can be an effective way to give yourself the support and caring you may be lacking.

  • Draw pictures. Sometimes words may not be adequate to express what you feel inside. At these times, illustrating your feelings may be easier and more helpful.

  • Let it flow. When you feel mentally blocked, try an exercise used in psychology: Simply write whatever comes to mind, even if it seems to start from nowhere or makes little sense. Omit punctuation entirely, if it improves your flow of thought. Don't stop to correct yourself. Just allow one thought to flow freely from another. When you run out of steam, go back and read what you've written. You may be surprised to discover previously hidden clues to your emotional state.

  • Rewrite reality. If a situation left you feeling frustrated or angry during the day, write it down the way it happened. Then try rewriting it with a new ending, the way you would have liked the situation to unfold.

  • Don't allow your journal writing to become yet another chore. If you feel as though writing in your journal is just one more task you have to do before you can go to bed, try another approach. Try to see your journal-writing time as a positive way to let go of the day's stress.
Learn to Relax

One way to lessen the damaging effects of stress is to learn ways to relax, whether through picturing a calming scene in your head, engaging in a favourite hobby, or performing a relaxation exercise. Once you learn a technique that works for you, you can use it before a stressful event. For the most benefit, however, you should set aside at least a few minutes each day to allow your mind and body to unwind.

Picturing a beautiful or peaceful setting may help you relax when you are in a stressful situation.
©2006 Publications International, Ltd.
Picturing a beautiful or peaceful setting may help you
relax when you are in a stressful situation.

Relaxation exercises that release muscle tension can help a lot in coping with stress. To do them, you need to sit or lie down in a quiet, comfortable place where you will not be disturbed. Loosen any tight clothing and remove any jewellery that is uncomfortable.

Your aim is to tighten, then relax, muscle groups in sequence, from head to toe. Tightening the muscles increases your awareness of what stored tension feels like. Relaxing the muscles, in turn, lets you feel the difference between being tense and being loose.

Begin with the muscles in your forehead. Tense them by crinkling your forehead; hold this tension for about five seconds; then release the tension. Imagine a wave of relaxation washing through the muscles. Inhale deeply, then exhale, allowing the muscles to relax even further.

Continue the process with your eye muscles by closing your eyes tightly. Work your way down through various muscle groups including your toes. After you are finished, lie still for a minute or two to enjoy that relaxed feeling.

While everyone has to deal with stress to some degree, prolonged stress can have negative health effects. However, if you follow our simple steps, you should be able to make your life more tranquil.

Symptom Checker:

  Abdominal Bloating   Abdominal Fullness Prematurely Afte...   Abdominal Lumps   Abdominal Mass   Abdominal Pain   Abdominal Rigidity   Abdominal Sounds   Abdominal Swelling   Abnormal Posturing   Abnormal Tooth Shape   Abnormally Dark Or Light Skin   Absent Menstruation   Absent Thirst   Agitation   Ambiguous Genitalia   Ankle Pain   Appetite Decrease   Appetite Increase   Apraxia   Arachnodactyly   Armpit Lump   Autistic Behavior   Babinski's Reflex   Bed Wetting   Belching   Binge Eating   Blackheads   Bleeding Gums   Bleeding Into The Skin   Blindness   Blockage Of Leg Arteries   Blood In The Semen   Blood in Urine   Bloody Or Tarry Stools   Bone Pain Or Tenderness   Bounding Pulse   Bowel Incontinence   Breast Lump   Breast Pain   Breath Odor   Breath Sounds   Breathing - Slowed Or Stopped   Breathing Difficulty   Breathing Difficulty When Lying Dow...   Breathing That Sounds Abnormal   Broad Nasal Bridge   Bulging Fontanelles   Bullae   Chemosis   Chest Pain   Chills   Clammy Skin   Claw Foot   Claw Hand   Cloudy Cornea   Clubbing Of The Fingers Or Toes   Cold Intolerance   Coloboma Of The Iris   Comedones   Confusion   Constipation   Contracture Deformity   Coughing   Coughing Up Blood   Crying Excessively in Infants   Cyst   Decerebrate Posture   Decorticate Posture   Decreased Consciousness   Decreased Urine Output   Delayed Growth   Delayed or Absent Tooth Formation   Depression   Diarrhea   Difficulty with Urination   Dizziness   Drooling   Drowsiness   Dry Eyes   Dry Hair   Dry Skin   Ear Discharge   Earache   Earlobe Creases   Elbow Pain   Epicanthal Folds   Erection Problems   Erosion   Excessive Or Unwanted Hair In Women   Excessive Thirst   Excessive Urination   Excessive Urination at Night   Excessively Large Fontanelles   Eye Burning, Itching and Discharge   Eye Pain   Eye Redness   Eye Slant   Eyelid Drooping   Eyes That Bulge   Face Pain   Facial Paralysis   Facial Swelling   Fainting   Fatigue   Female Sexual Dysfunction   Fever   Finger Pain   Fingers That Change Color   Flank Pain   Floating Stools   Focal Neurological Deficits   Foot Pain   Foot, Leg, And Ankle Swelling   Foul Smelling Stools   Frequent Or Urgent Urination   Frontal Bossing   Gas (Flatulence)   Gastrointestinal Bleeding   Genital Sores (Female)   Genital Sores (Male)   Groin Lumps   Groin Pain   Gynecomastia   Hair Loss   Hallucinations   Hand Or Foot Spasms   Hand Tremors   Hearing Loss   Heart Murmurs And Other Sounds   Heart Palpitations   Heartburn   Heat Intolerance   Heavy, Prolonged, or Irregular Mens...   Heel Pain   Hemolytic Crisis   Hepatomegaly   Heterochromia   Hiccups   Hip Pain   Hoarseness Or Changing Voice   Hump Behind The Shoulders   Hyperactivity   Hyperelastic Skin   Hypermobile Joints   Hyperventilation   Hypotonia   Impaired Smell   Increased Head Circumference   Indigestion   Infantile Reflexes   Insect Bites And Stings   Intercostal Retractions   Intertrigo   Irritability   Itching   Jaundice (Yellow Skin)   Joint Pain   Joint Swelling   Knee Pain   Leg Pain   Lichenified   Limited Range Of Motion   Lordosis   Low Nasal Bridge   Lower Back Pain   Macule   Malaise   Memory Loss   Metopic Ridge   Microcephaly   Micrognathia   Morbid Obesity   Morning Sickness   Moro Reflex   Motormental Retardation   Mouth Sores   Muscle Aches   Muscle Atrophy   Muscle Cramps   Muscle Function Loss   Muscle Twitching   Nail Abnormalities   Nasal Congestion   Nasal Discharge   Nasal Flaring   Natal Teeth   Nausea And Vomiting   Neck Lumps   Neck Pain   Night Blindness   Nightmares   Nikolsky’s Sign   Nipple Discharge   Nodules   Nosebleed   Numbness And Tingling   Obesity   Opisthotonos   Pain During Sexual Intercourse   Painful Menstrual Periods   Painful Urination   Pale or Clay-Colored Stools   Paleness   Papule   Patches   Patchy Skin Color   Pectus Carinatum   Pectus Excavatum   Penis Pain   Photophobia   Pilonidal Dimple   Pinna Abnormalities And Low-set Ear...   Point Tenderness   Polydactyly   Polyhydramnios   Poor Feeding In Infants   Preauricular Tag Or Pit   Premenstrual Breast Tenderness and ...   Prognathism   Pupils That Are Different Sizes   Purpura   Pustules   Rapid Shallow Breathing   Rash in a Child Under 2 Years   Rashes   Rib Cage Pain   Ridged Sutures   Scales   Scrotal Swelling   Seizures   Sensorineural Deafness   Separated Sutures   Shin Splints   Short Philtrum   Short Stature   Shoulder Pain   Simian Crease   Skeletal Limb Abnormalities   Skin Blushing/flushing   Skin Discoloration   Skin Lumps   Skin Turgor   Sleeping Difficulty   Sneezing   Snoring   Sore Throat   Spasticity   Speech Impairment (adult)   Splenomegaly   Splinter Hemorrhages   Strange Behavior   Stress And Anxiety   Striae   Subcutaneous Emphysema   Sunburn   Sunken Fontanelles   Supernumerary Nipples   Swallowing Difficulty   Swallowing Pain Or Burning   Sweating   Sweating Decrease   Swelling   Swollen Glands   Swollen Gums   Taste Impairment   Telangiectasia   Tenesmus   Testicle Lump   Testicle Pain   Tinnitus   Tongue Problems   Tooth Discoloration   Toothaches   Ulcers   Uncontrollable Eye Movements   Uncontrollable Movement   Uncontrolled Or Slow Movement   Uncoordinated Movement   Unpredictable Or Jerky Movement   Urinary Incontinence   Urine Discoloration   Vaginal Bleeding Between Periods   Vaginal Bleeding In Pregnancy   Vaginal Discharge   Vaginal Itching   Vesicles   Vision Problems   Vomiting Blood   Walking Abnormalities   Watery Eyes   Weak or Absent Pulse   Weakness   Webbing Of The Fingers Or Toes   Weight Gain   Weight Loss   Wheezing   White Spots in the Pupil   Whitehead   Widely Spaced Teeth   Wrinkles   Wrist Pain   Yawning

Diseases and Conditions Glossary:

  ABO Incompatibility   AIDS   ARDS (acute Respiratory Distress Sy...   Aarskog Syndrome   Aase Syndrome   Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm   Abortion - Complete   Abortion - Elective Or Therapeutic   Abortion - Incomplete   Abortion - Infected   Abortion - Threatened   Abscess   Acanthosis Nigricans   Achalasia   Achilles Tendinitis   Achondrogenesis   Achondroplasia   Acidosis   Acne   Acoustic Neuroma   Acoustic Trauma   Acquired Platelet Function Defect   Acrodermatitis   Acrodysostosis   Acromegaly   Actinic Keratosis   Actinomycosis   Acute Adrenal Crisis   Acute Arterial Occlusion - Kidney   Acute Bilateral Obstructive Uropath...   Acute Bronchitis   Acute Cerebellar Ataxia   Acute Cholecystitis (Gallstones)   Acute Cytomegalovirus (CMV) Infecti...   Acute Gouty Arthritis   Acute HIV Infection   Acute Interstitial Nephritis Not NS...   Acute Kidney Failure   Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia (ALL)   Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia In-Depth   Acute Mountain Sickness   Acute Myeloid Leukemia   Acute Nephritic Syndrome   Acute Pancreatitis   Acute Tubular Necrosis   Acute Unilateral Obstructive Uropat...   Acute Upper Airway Obstruction   Addison’s Disease   Adenomyosis   Adhesion   Adjustment Disorder   Adolescent Depression   Adolescent Pregnancy   Adrenocortical Carcinoma   Adrenoleukodystrophy   Adult Still's Disease   Agammaglobulinemia   Age-related Hearing Loss   Agoraphobia   Agranulocytosis   Aicardi Syndrome   Albinism   Alcohol Withdrawal   Alcoholic Cardiomyopathy   Alcoholic Ketoacidosis   Alcoholic Liver Disease   Alcoholic Neuropathy   Alcoholism   Alcoholism In-Depth   Alkalosis   Alkaptonuria   Allergic Conjunctivitis   Allergic Rhinitis   Allergic Rhinitis In-Depth   Allergic Vasculitis   Allergies   Allergy To Mold - Dander - Dust   Alopecia Areata   Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency   Alport Syndrome   Alström Syndrome   Alveolar Abnormalities   Alzheimer’s - Resources   Alzheimer’s Disease   Alzheimer's Disease Epidemic?   Alzheimer's Disease In-Depth   Amaurosis Fugax   Amblyopia   Amebiasis   Amebic Liver Abscess   Amelogenesis Imperfecta   Amenorrhea   Amniotic Constriction Bands   Amphetamine Or Sympathomimetic Into...   Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis   Anal Fissure   Analgesic Nephropathy   Anaphylaxis   Anaplastic Thyroid Cancer   Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome   Anemia   Anemia - B12 Deficiency   Anemia In-Depth   Anemia Of Chronic Disease   Anencephaly   Aneurysm   Aneurysm In The Brain   Angina   Angiodysplasia Of The Colon   Angioedema   Ankylosing Spondylitis   Annular Pancreas   Anorchia   Anorectal Abscess   Anorexia Nervosa   Anthrax   Antisocial Personality Disorder   Anxiety Disorders In-Depth   Aortic Arch Syndrome   Aortic Dissection   Aortic Insufficiency   Aortic Stenosis   Apert Syndrome   Apnea Of Prematurity   Apoplexy   Appendicitis   Arrhenoblastoma of the Ovary   Arrhythmias   Arterial Embolism   Arterial Insufficiency   Arteriosclerosis Of The Extremities   Arteriovenous Malformation - Cerebr...   Arthritis   Arthritis - Resources   Asbestos-related Pleural Effusion   Asbestosis   Ascariasis   Ascites   Aseptic Meningitis   Aseptic Necrosis   Asherman Syndrome   Asperger Syndrome   Aspergillosis   Aspiration Pneumonia   Asthma   Asthma And Allergy - Resources   Asthma In Adults In-Depth   Asthma In Children And Adolescents ...   Astigmatism   Asymptomatic Bacteriuria   Asymptomatic HIV Infection   Ataxia-telangiectasia   Atelectasis   Atheroembolic Renal Disease   Atherosclerosis   Athlete's Foot   Atrial Fibrillation/flutter   Atrial Myxoma   Atrial Septal Defect   Atrophic Vaginitis   Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Dis...   Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Dis...   Atypical Mycobacterial Infection   Atypical Pneumonia   Aural Polyps   Autism   Autism - Resources   Autoerythrocyte Sensitivity   Autoimmune Disorders   Autoimmune Hepatitis   Autonomic Hyperreflexia   Autonomic Neuropathy   Avian Influenza   Avoidant Personality Disorder   Axillary Nerve Dysfunction   Back Pain And Sciatica In-Depth   Back Strain Treatment   Backaches And Stress   Bacterial Gastroenteritis   Baker’s Cyst   Balanitis   Barbiturate Intoxication And Overdo...   Barrett’s Esophagus   Bartholin’s Abscess   Bartter Syndrome   Basal Cell Carcinoma   Basal Cell Nevus Syndrome   Basal Ganglia Dysfunction   Bassen-Kornzweig Syndrome   Bathing Trunk Nevus   Becker's Muscular Dystrophy   Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome   Bedwetting   Bell's Palsy   Benign Ear Cyst Or Tumor   Benign Positional Vertigo   Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia In-Dep...   Beriberi   Bezoar   Bilateral Hydronephrosis   Bile Duct Obstruction   Biliary Atresia