It's easy to look at the life of a victim of abuse and say, "I would never get into that situation." Hopefully that's true. But expressing judgment can do harm. Remember, a victim of abuse is already being made to feel inadequate. She's likely hearing that she's stupid, flawed or even psychologically unstable. She's probably unnecessarily shouldering the blame for the dysfunctional relationship she finds herself in.
If you, as a friend, lash out at her or even shake your head in disgust, you're only reinforcing what she already believes. Withhold judgment or else she may become more isolated than ever. Even if you're frustrated, give support rather than a tongue-lashing [source: CRAA].
Remind yourself that your job is to build her up so she has the strength to follow-through with plans to bring the abuse to an end. Your patience may be running thin, but don't give up on her.