Being emotionally, mentally or physically intimate with a partner begins with listening to what he or she is saying and paying attention to his or her actions. It sounds simple, but it's not. To properly pay attention, you need to tune everything else out ... from your work stress and to-do list to your thoughts about what you'd like for dinner. Tune out your personal immediate needs, and then listen.
Active listening means being attentive, not thinking about what you'd like to say next. Look your partner in the eye. Be silent while your partner is talking, and when you do speak, be courteous and reassuring.