In a 2004 sex survey conducted by ABC News "Primetime Live," researchers found 51 percent of sexually active women prefer to have sex with the lights off. If a woman can't be comfortable with her sexual partner in the light, how will she ever get up the nerve to approach a guy who's caught her eye?
What's at the heart of both of these problems is fear of rejection. Overcoming your fear is tricky, but with anything that's worth pursuing, practice makes perfect. Even if you're not especially attracted to the man across the room, make a point of going over to talk to him. By practicing walking up to a stranger, introducing yourself and turning your introduction into conversation (without relying on any tired pickup lines), you begin to build your confidence -- and that means more smiles and less blushing, stammering and sweating.
Insecurity is a turnoff, but so is overconfidence. The sweet spot here is to be yourself -- a calm, self-assured version of yourself. What's the worst that could happen?
While rejection might make you feel like crawling head first into a container of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, remember that if your approach doesn't work, it's not you that he's rejecting -- he doesn't even know you yet. Perhaps you two don't have much in common, or maybe he's just having a bad day.
The best case? You've accidentally stumbled upon your soul mate. But the most likely scenario is that you get to enjoy good conversation and maybe make a new friend.