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Passion and Sex: A Sacred Space


Erotic Rituals

Beginning a sexual encounter with a ritual — a mutually agreed upon activity — can help couples connect emotionally and kindle sexual desire. Ritual can also add meaning to sexual experiences, helping us view and remember lovemaking with reverence. A simple and pleasurable ritual might begin with lovers taking turns massaging each other's feet. Create any type of ritual you desire.

Here's a more advanced idea: Light two candles and surround with rose petals. Face your lover. Gaze into each other's eyes and take turns sipping wine as you share what you love most about your partner's body or prowess in bed. Then, describe in delicious detail the seductive pleasures you will lavish upon each other in the moments to come. When the passion becomes unbearable, extinguish the candles to complete the ritual. Let the games begin.

Sex mentor Margo Anand recommends several elaborate rituals that build trust between partners. In the Sensory Awakening Ritual, the recipient partner is blindfolded and led into the sanctuary. The other partner's role is to encourage the recipient to relax, breathe deeply, enjoy and receive. The blindfolded lover is then treated to a feast of aromatherapy scents waved under his or her nose followed by the sounds of different instruments, and samplings of aphrodisiac foods such as a grapes dipped in liqueur.

Next come seductive touches using feathers and silk, and loving words. The ritual is complete when the blindfold is removed and the lovers stare into each other's eyes, a process known as "soul gazing." From here, they may embark on a journey with a new appreciation for each other and for their enlivened senses.

Many of us may already engage in seductive rituals with our lover without thinking of them as rituals. Some lovers read erotic literature or poetry to each other. Others might seductively dance to arouse their partners. Massaging or bathing each other is a wonderful overture to sex. Any ritual, no matter how simple or elaborate, should emphasize loving words, eye contact, and most importantly, touch.

"Touch is a human need," says Patricia Love, Ed.D, author of the book "Hot Monogamy." When you're an infant, you have to have it to survive; when you're an adult, you have to have it to thrive. It literally lowers your heart rate. That's why couples that are happy together live longer. It's healthy for you."

The Healing Power of Pleasure

Aside from the sheer pleasure of touch and intimacy, there is good reason to nurture romance at every stage of our relationships. "The concept of the healing power of pleasure is grounded in the new science of psychoneuroimmunology," according to holistic practitioner Chrissie Wildwood.

"Pleasing experiences such as falling in love, listening to music, receiving nurturing massage, and inhaling pleasant fragrances actually strengthen the body's immune defenses."

Creating a special place where we can explore the full essence of our sexuality is a wonderful way to maintain a close connection with our lover. In this space, we are free to enjoy a range of creative sexual expression and to reach new heights of intimacy. What could be more blissful?


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