Picture this: You're a man about town and you have a wedding to attend. Your only suit is in a small dusty heap on a shelf in your hanger-less closet. You dig it out as if you're handling hazardous materials, lacking only the thick elbow-length gloves and industrial respirator. Your lone dress shirt is even worse for the wear, but you hang it all up in your shower and crank up the heat with hopes for a wrinkle-free evening. You're almost there, but there's one more piece to this ugly puzzle. The undershirt. After a slow pull on your bottom drawer, you find it lying dead beneath your emergency-only tightie whities. This soldier has seen some rough duty. Wrinkled, off-white at this point, and with the signature, most embarrassing feature a shirt can possess -- the crunchy, mustard-colored sweat stains spilling out from both armpits. This is not a male-only phenomenon. Women, too, are saddled with the dreaded stains.

Sweat stains are quick way to turn off a date or potential paramour. Sweat stains make you appear like you're a moist and rank human being. Sweat stains kill unicorns. If all this is true, wouldn't you want to avoid them at all costs? The answer is yes. And the good news is you can. Sure, there are some ways of removing sweat stains. But once you get the right mix of deodorant residue and perspiration, your poor shirt is in for it. It's crossed over and can't be revived. The trick to sweat-stain management is to avoid it in the first place so you never have to suffer the indignity of soaking the yellow cotton pits with vinegar and bleach. Read this article if you have any self respect. Stop sweat stains.