Dating After 40: What's New?

Deal Breakers and the Bottom Line

Now that we've got the principles of dating down, let me share my pet peeves.

  • Dating Pet Peeve No. 1: The guy who has to tell me all his personal business in the first five minutes upon meeting him. This signals that he's impatient and wants to cut to whatever chase he has in mind. Usually, this man is scared to death of growing old alone and doesn't want to waste time.

    What to do? Avoid this type like the plague and remember this: your 40-plus age doesn't negate the need to take your time.

  • Dating Pet Peeve No. 2: When a guy tries to impress me with all the things he says he owns. I emphasize "says" because how do I know he's telling the truth? I haven't seen his things have I? No. And besides, when you're over 40, you probably already have things and you're likely now looking for "substance."

Frankly, my best advice is to take it all with a grain of salt, be nice and when the date ends, rely on your gut to tell you your next move.

To be blunt, dating is a way to search the marketplace for someone who's compatible with your values, likes and dislikes. Things like who pays for dinner, whether you meet him at the restaurant or get picked up, or who calls whom first, is basically kids' stuff.

Bottom line: Do what you feel comfortable with and don't let convention (or your friends) rule. If it feels right it probably is, and if it doesn't feel right, follow your intuition, which at 40-plus should be nothing new.

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