How to Approach a Guy You're Interested In

Tips for Approaching Guys

We all have our social fears -- public speaking, for example -- and even the most confident woman may feel she can't approach a guy. But you won't get what you want until you ask for it. Since even flirting takes practice, get things started with these five easy-to-remember suggestions:

1. Talk to strangers

Contrary to the rule that kept you safe as a child, talking to strangers opens up a world of new possibilities -- new people and experiences -- and also offers risk-free practice for perfecting your approach, your handshake and your flirting skills. Speaking to a stranger may make you nervous right now, so practice by speaking to several people each day. Before long, it won't be a big deal. You'll be surprised at the reactions a simple hello can elicit.

2. Break your own ice

While you may be tempted to break the ice by sending a friend, don't do it. Having a friend test the waters will only show that you're insecure and immature. Instead, before you make the walk over to introduce yourself, make eye contact with your man-of-interest and smile at him. This not only shows him that you're interested, but that you're confident enough to let him know you're interested. Did he smile back or send a drink your way? It's time to introduce yourself.

3. Time your approach

You're nervous enough before you approach a guy you're interested in, so be sure you don't add awkwardness to the situation by approaching him at a less-than-perfect time. Are you with co-workers? Consider flirting with him when your colleagues aren't around to see. The same is true for a guy in a medium or large group of people. Approach when he's alone or in a small group to ensure the best reception.

4. Be confident

Be confident when walking up to a man, as if you know he's already interested and has been waiting for you to come over and introduce yourself. Chances are you have something in common but don't know it yet. Your happy-hour bar or the parties you attend are likely to be part of the local fabric, and any guys you meet in your favorite hangout spots will probably share some common interests. Think about what those interests may be and start a conversation.

5. Don't drink

Although having a few drinks may give you the courage to approach an attractive stranger, your drunk self is not going to give others the best first impression. Limit the social lubricant to one drink.

Check out the next page for lots more information about approaching guys. Also, have fun on your date!

Related Articles


  • ABC News. "The American Sex Survey: A Peek Beneath the Sheets." Oct. 21, 2004. (Oct. 1, 2010.)
  • Association for Psychological Science. "Breaking the Norm: Experiment makes men and women equally picky when selecting a mate." June 3, 2009. (Oct. 1, 2010)
  • Boushey, Heather and Ann O'Leary. "Our Working Nation: How Working Women Are Reshaping America's Families and Economy and What It Means for Policymakers." Center for American Progress. March 2010. (Oct. 1, 2010)
  • Harper, Jennifer. "Poll: Women today treated with less chivalry." The Washington Times. 2010. (Oct. 1, 2010)
  • Institute for Women's Policy Research. "The Gender Wage Gap: 2009." September 2010. (Oct. 1, 2010)
  • McGann, Dr. Kimberly. Assistant Professor of Sociology at Nazareth College. Personal interview. Oct. 4, 2010.
  • Rosin, Hanna. "The End of Men." The Atlantic. July 2010. (Oct. 1, 2010)
  • St. George, Donna. "Women Are Gaining Ground In Family Decision Making." The Washington Post. Sept. 26, 2008. (Oct. 1, 2010)
  • U. S. Census Bureau. "Facts for Features: Unmarried and Single Americans Week: September 19 - 25, 2010." July 19, 2010. (Oct. 1, 2010)

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