One Teen's Perspective on Dating

By: Jonna M.

Hmmm, dating. Well, let me warn you. I am a 17-year-old who has had only two (maybe three) real boyfriends. But I have always thought forming relationships with guys is great, especially because they are so different from girls in many ways.

But dating? It just seems unnecessary when you can simply "chill" with your good friend.


In this day and age, the trend seems to be that we just don't have the time or energy to take a relationship seriously.

Many of us, both guys and girls equally, seem to be avoiding having the label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend." It's about being a teenager and having fun with a guy you like so I tend to notice that many high school relationships consist of simply "hanging out" and bonding with that person you like.


No Rules

Guys often don't pay for girls on dates. There seem to be no norms that exist for the dating scene as there were in my parents' time. I'm sure in the 50s and 60s people NEVER kissed on the first date. But today, if you are having a great time with a guy and really bonding, why not kiss? Every relationship seems to have its own arrangement; no rules govern how dating should go.

Relationships are not structured and a girl doesn't get mad if her "boyfriend" doesn't call every night. There are relationships where the couple always seems to be together, but these relationships are based on the fact that these two people are really good friends. This trend seems to be a reflection of today's society where teens constantly search for someone they can truly relate too.


No Role Models

And honestly, I think many teens have totally polar views of what their long-term or serious future relationships will consist of compared to their parents.

With half of our families divorced, what is our view of the future family supposed to consist of? No, it is not the suburban family of two kids and a dog that makes a person happy. I think I would like to adopt a child whether I am married or not and this will probably be when I am older than the average parent is today. Why not adopt a child, when this world faces gross overpopulation, and the disparity between the West and Third World is increasing?


I would like to believe that fate will lead me to my true love who I will be with for the rest of my life. But is this realistic at all?

I envision myself after college travelling around the world, working but meeting people along the away who will change my views and affect me for the better. These relationships may become long-term or maybe not, but that is not what is important.

Relationships cause a person to grow and that is what is important. A crush has such a huge affect on a teenage girl so I think that many of us fear a relationship could stop us from living our life as we want to. Yet I know that none of us want to grow old alone. So, today's independent-minded teenage girl faces a conflicting decision, indeed.