Nine Ways to Tell if Your Love Is Real
So how do you know if you're in a lasting relationship? Here's what the experts say:
- You feel good. A good relationship makes you feel good about yourself.
- You look forward to spending time with your partner. You don't need to be with other people or go to events to avoid being alone together. You enjoy spending quality time together even when it's quiet.
- You respect your partner. You hear yourself bragging about your partner. You say things like: "My husband is a really talented singer-songwriter." If you find that you're always talking about yourself, you're not focused on your partner or the relationship.
- You're interested in what your partner thinks. You ask your partner's opinion about issues that are important to you. It's OK if he or she disagrees with you.
- You accept your partner's quirks. Everyone has them. Even you! If your partner's quirks are endearing or tolerable, you're in good shape. If they really bother you, you should look more closely at the relationship.
- You're able to work through your problems. It's natural to have some bumps in the relationship road to true bliss. People in healthy relationships see disagreements as a chance to learn more about their partner. However, if you're creating problems, or if you think every fight is the "big one" leading to a breakup, you should probably rethink your relationship.
- You feel safe. You're not afraid of losing your partner.
- You can't explain why you're together. Many people coordinate their lives so that they have to be together. But ask yourself if you're together because you truly want to be. If the answer is "yes," then you'll probably stay together. If it's "no," you're bound to have problems — if you haven't already.
- You don't compare your partner to others. There will always be someone more beautiful, smarter or more athletic than your partner, but you don't care because you only want to be with him or her.
If you still don't know whether your love will last, try this last piece of advice from Dr. Moore: Make a list of what you require from someone to be happy. If the list is met, you may have found everlasting love.