How to Have Fun After the Kids Are Grown

When your children leave home, a part of you goes with them. So it's understandable that we often feel an ache in our hearts as they turn the page on the next chapter of their lives.

If that heartache persists, don't ignore or discount the possibility that you might be suffering from empty nest syndrome. These feelings of sadness, depression and even grief are quite natural, and quite real. Women who are stay-at-home moms are particularly susceptible, as their job is dramatically altered once their children leave [source: Psychology Today].

Also keep in mind that the turmoil caused by the kids leaving often coincides, sometimes cruelly, with the onset of our own mid-life changes. That's true for both women undergoing the more obvious symptoms of menopause and men suffering from the more subtle signs of "male menopause."

Parenting is also a considerable part of our identity. Children grow up, but we never stop being parents. That's why, when the kids leave, we're sometimes left with a huge void in our lives. It's normal to feel a sense of loss, but it shouldn't be paralyzing [source: Goyer].

Telltale signs of empty nest syndrome include (but aren't limited to) depression or unrelenting sadness, excessive and uncontrollable crying, insomnia, a lack of enthusiasm for normal routines or even friends and low energy. Don't suffer in silence. Isolation can be a devastating obstacle to enjoying our second half-century. Seek counseling.

Next up, a few time-honored tips to make your empty nest more comfortable.

Relationships require work. When you have kids, it's easy (and understandable) to get distracted and focus on them. But when they're gone, relationship troubles can get magnified. Take some of that newfound time and reconnect with your spouse [source: Schmitz]. Just remember, you're not the same person you were 20 to 25 years ago, and neither is your partner. The idea isn't to recapture the past, but to write a new future together.

Reclaim your house. Renovate or redecorate. Your children are creating a new identity -- it's OK for you to do the same (just let them know if you're commandeering their bedrooms). Those extra rooms make for great hobby nooks. If work allows, you can even set up a home office with a computer station. Get on the Internet, and reach out to other empty-nesters at places like the parenting forum on the American Association of Retired Persons Web site [source: AARP]. You'll be pleasantly surprised at the community of people in the same situation.

Pursue your passions. For example, eat better. Remember all those exotic dishes you wanted to try but your kids complained? Now is the time to expand your culinary talents. The same goes for any hobby you always dreamed of doing. Join a book club, an investment club, an art club, a music ensemble, a signing group, a wine club, or a garden club, to name just a few.

Exercise in front of the television -- nobody's watching! Take up an instrument -- nobody's listening (plus, it can be incredibly beneficial for reawakening long-dormant neural pathways). Relish in your newfound freedom.

Of course, you can also find fun outside the home.

After a quarter century of focusing on what happens inside the four walls of your home, it's time to embrace the world outside. Here are a few tips to consider:

Family dynamics can be complicated, and so is the impact of children leaving home. For more information, keep reading.