5 Ways to Flirt with a Girl You're Friends With

Teenage friends hanging out at mall food court.
You may think she's perfect, but she may think you're just a friend. How do you change things?
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To you, she's absolutely perfect. She's got a gorgeous face, perfect body, brilliant mind -- in short, she's the girl of your dreams. To her, however, you're a "really nice guy."

It's not easy to make that huge relationship leap from friend to boyfriend, especially when you've been friends for a long time. Guys have turned friendships into forever, especially in movies (In the 1989 film "When Harry Met Sally," Harry finally convinced Sally after years of fighting and making up). It just takes some delicate maneuvering to make the transition, because as soon as you throw the words "I like you" out there, they'll hang in the air between the two of you forever, especially if your feelings aren't reciprocated.


Before you reveal how you feel about her, we have a few suggestions on starting a flirtation. If she didn't already like you as more than a friend, she's sure to see you in a new light once you lay one of these techniques on her.

5: Make Her Laugh

You can never underestimate the power of humor with girls (if you question this concept at all, do a search of male comedians online and see how many of them are dating gorgeous models). Make her laugh and you'll be one step closer to landing her heart.

When you're together, try to be at your wittiest. Have some material prepared ahead of time: Try some cute jokes or one-liners that you can throw into the conversation as casually as if you'd thought them up on the spot. (Just try them out first on a friend to make sure they don't bomb.)


Keep her laughing by sending her funny e-mails or links to hilarious videos, and add your own clever comments. Post cute jokes or notes on her Facebook page.

When the two of you hang out, take her to places where you both can have a good laugh. Get tickets for her favorite comedian or go on a bumper car ride at an amusement park.

She'll be having so much fun that she might start to look at you in a whole new light.

4: Make a Statement

Couple on picnic.
If you want to get her attention, you may have to do something a little out of character for you.
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To get her attention, do something cool, special, and maybe a little out of character for you. We're not suggesting you post your feelings on the JumboTron at your local sports arena. That could be hugely embarrassing -- especially if she's not into you. Think small, but sweet gestures.

Take her to a karaoke club, request her favorite song and sing it to her (this works much better when you can actually carry a tune, but you'll get points for effort even if you're tone deaf). Or if you're not into singing, slip the DJ a couple of bucks to play her favorite song at a club. Then ask her to dance (a slow song works better if you want to cozy up close to her).


If you're really ambitious and have a bit of literary talent, write a few poems celebrating the things that make her so wonderful. Send the poems to a self-publishing company and have them bound into a professional-looking book. To really impress her, slip that book onto the shelves of your local bookstore or library and have her find it by accident.

3: Make Her Curious

In just about every romance novel, the heroine is kept guessing about what secrets lie behind her tall, dark stranger's piercing eyes -- until she falls madly in love with him. You can create your own sense of mystique without resorting to an eye patch, creepy mansion in the hills or other romance novel tactics. Just keep her guessing a little.

Send a cryptic note telling her how much you like her. Say all the sweet things you'd never have the guts to tell her in person. Then don't sign it. Send a few more notes like that, and she'll be dying of curiosity. Even better -- send one bouquet of roses to her house every day for a week and don't sign the card.


Another cute idea is to lead her on a scavenger hunt. Set up various clues in different places around town for her to find. You could head to iTunes, download songs she loves and burn them onto a CD for her to find, or have a plate of the cookies you baked for her waiting at a neighborhood bakery. The final clue should let her know once and for all how you feel about her.

2: Make Her a Princess

Guy waiting at girl's door with flowers.
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What girl doesn't love to feel pampered and special? Spoiling her a little can't hurt your case, and there's a very good chance it will help you get in with her, especially if she's had boyfriends in the past that didn't treat her as well as she deserved.

Buy her little gifts to show you've been listening to her -- the charm bracelet she loved in the jewelry store window, or the T-shirt she told you she wanted to get for herself. You don't have to spend a lot of money. Even a small box of her favorite chocolates shows how much you care. Just don't get too intimate: Lingerie is way too presumptuous for this stage in your relationship, and it's more likely to get you slapped than kissed.


If you want to really make your friend feel like a princess, set up the perfect evening for the two of you. Pick her up in a limo and take her out to her favorite restaurant. Once she's buttered up, you can tell her how you really feel about her (see No.1).

1: Make Her Yours

When Harry finally landed Sally in the movie, it wasn't with flowery words or grand gestures. All it took was a little honesty --"I've been doing a lot of thinking. And the thing is, I love you."

If you've been pining away for your friend in silence, you have two choices: Keep your feelings to yourself and hope that one day she'll magically begin to see you for the amazing guy you are. Or, take the risk and tell her how you feel.


Before you make the leap, it's a good idea to dig around a little. See if she's interested in anyone else. Look for signs that she might like you (like staring into your eyes a little bit longer than usual, or being especially touchy-feely). Ask some of your mutual female friends if they think you've got a chance (unlike guys, girls talk about their feelings with friends).

Then, once you get up the courage, just ask her out! Go into it knowing that there's a chance she'll turn you down, so don't be too disappointed if that happens. But if she does reciprocate your feelings, your honesty will have started a whole new relationship, and who knows where that might lead?

Lots More Information

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  • Campaign for our Children. "Safe Dating Tips."http://www.cfoc.org/index.php/teen-guide/whats-the-411-about-sex/safe-dating-tips/
  • Do Something. "Teen Dating Bill of Rights and Pledge."http://www.dosomething.org/actnow/actionguide/teen-dating-bill-rights-and-pledge