How can you encourage your loved one to quit smoking?

Cigarette smoking grabs a hold of people early on, with 86 percent of smokers starting before age 21 -- and it can stick around for keeps, contributing to about 393,000 deaths per year in the United States alone [source: American Lung Association]. Worldwide, one out of every three people smokes, about 46 million of them in the U.S. [sources: World Bank, American Lung Association]. These are overwhelmingly negative numbers, but keeping negative emotions in check -- even when you can't stand seeing someone you love light up -- may improve your chances of being heard.

For a smoker, cigarettes often are comforting, something to look forward to throughout the day, and an escape from stress or confrontation. Having an awareness of what someone might be "giving up" by going without and making an effort to maybe even mourn or commiserate the loss with a smoker can make you a source of comfort and relief from the stress of quitting; better you than the cigarette be the friend. Being an encourager might mean stopping all of the negative talk about the habit itself and focusing solely on the person.

Smoking is an extremely difficult habit to quit, but while it's helpful to acknowledge this fact, don't give into the defeating attitudes -- yours and the smokers -- that can come with it. Keep up the good fight even in the face of multiple failures. Some tips from the American Cancer Society on how to do this include the following:

Encouraging a loved one to quit smoking without getting frustrated or losing hope can be hard, but it's not really as hard as giving up smoking. Set the smoker's harder task at the forefront and be a supporter. Some ways to lead from the heart follow next.

If someone you love is a smoker, you're more than likely dealing with an addiction. Social smoking, or the kind of smoking that is thought to be just a once-and-awhile situational kind, without addiction to nicotine, is not the norm [source: Hainer]. Most smokers get hooked by the nicotine going into the brain and body, and it can happen so quickly and at such an early age that parents even are advised to warn against smoking beginning when kids are 5 to 6 years old [source: American Lung Association].

Whether or not the smoker in your life wants to use or wants to avoid the "addicted" label, it's a reality that may be helpful in keeping the right frame of mind. Being overly emotional or overly factual about the dangers and lasting effects for the smoker and family and friends, or getting angry and taking it personally, won't change the addiction that is already planted and probably even growing. Lead with words from the heart about why you want to encourage a loved one to stop and be ready to offer concrete steps for when the person is ready.

Spending time "in" the problem with the smoker, and recognizing that no one is above addiction or weakness, shows understanding, empathy and awareness of the human weakness and chemical strength of dependencies. But don't let smokers off the hook; gently reel them back in each time interest in quitting is waning. Provide support through steps forward and any steps back by rewarding and knowing when to gently rebuke. Encouragement includes speaking the truth in love and knowing when a loved one is struggling, rebelling or maybe even trying to play you and light up out of sight. Be there through all of it with consistent calm, love and logic.