So what's the No. 1 tool that both men and women use to flirt? The answer is probably obvious to most of us. Magazines, journals, dating blogs, studies -- and we'd be willing to bet, flirting connoisseurs -- would all agree that it's through eye contact. This is one of the most direct ways to tell if a person is really interested. And, it's a good tool to cut through the cat and mouse game of trying to figure out another person's interest all night.
There are a few different forms of eye contact, so follow closely for tips. If a person looks over at you from across the room and looks away when you look back a few times (we're not talking about stalkers here), chances are they are in to you. In fact, a man is more apt to approach a woman only after she has made direct eye contact with him [source: Kelly].
Another type of eye contact is the long gaze that signals romantic or sexual desires. If you feel like someone is staring at you (in a good way), long gazing is flirting at its best. A different way to flirt with your eyes is by staring into someone's eyes for a few seconds then breaking eye contact to look them up and down or at a particular part of their body and then back in their eyes. This type of flirting is more sexual than casual. Just make sure you are ready for what the next step might bring.
A word to the wise: Be careful about the direct eye contact approach. Because it is so direct, both of you need to be on the same page. If someone you like looks away or stops making eye contact with you, chances are they are not interested so you need to move on. In addition, constant staring at a person outside of social settings and flirting situations, borders on the line of a Criminal Minds television episode. But for those on the prowl on a Saturday night, making direct eye contact for long periods of times is not only acceptable, it's welcomed. And, who knows, it could be the start of an unforgettable evening.
- "Brain Facts and Figures". (Sept. 28, 2010). http://faculty.washington.edu
- Carey, Benedict. "You Remind Me of Me". New York Times. Feb. 12, 2008. (Oct. 2, 2010). http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/12/health/12mimic.html?_r=l&ref=science&oref=slogin
- Effective-Communicating.com "How Men Flirt -- Is He Really Interested?" (Sept. 28, 2010). http://www.effective-communicating.com/how-men-flirt.html
- "Eye Contact Flirting Techniques". (Oct. 1, 2010) http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/11623/1/Eye-Contact-Flirting-Techniques.html
- Freeman, Shanna. "How Flirting Works". (Sept. 25, 2010) https://people.howstuffworks.com/flirting.htm
- Health Guidance. "Eye Contact Flirting Techniques. (Sept. 25, 2010) http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/11623/1/Eye-Contact-Flirting-Techniques.html
- Kelly, Maura. "The Only Two Flirty Body Language Moves You Need to Know". Marie Claire. May 26, 2009. (Sept. 28, 2010). http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/flirtatious-body-language-basics
- Social Issues Research Centre. "SIRC Guide to Flirting". (Sept. 25, 2010) http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html