Affected by Early-Life Experiences
Some therapists think that young men unknowingly are encouraged by events in their early sexual lives to teach themselves to ejaculate rapidly. Early experiences of masturbating quickly to get to the newfound good feeling of orgasm (or to avoid being caught), or rushing through sexual experiences in the back seat of a car, or on the family couch, may contribute to a young man unknowingly learning to ejaculate quickly.
It is important to know that it is neither uncommon nor abnormal for a man, on occasion, to experience early ejaculation. For example, if he has not had intercourse for some time, or is beginning to have sexual relations with a new partner, an episode of loss of control is not unusual. These instances of early ejaculation usually pass quickly and he returns, in a brief time, to his former level of control.
Fear of failure, or relationship issues, such as anger at one's partner, may have some bearing on a man's lack of ejaculatory control. There are several theories about the psychological causes for early ejaculation and each theory has its own therapeutic approach to helping the man improve his sense of control. Therapists treating a man, or a man and his partner, often address these issues during the course of treatment.
However, the primary treatment of ejaculatory control is helping a man, by various techniques, to repeatedly focus his attention on the increasing erotic sensations in his body as he approaches orgasm. By increasing his awareness of the buildup of these pleasurable sensations he is better able to judge where he is along the path of reaching an orgasm and ejaculating. (Note: orgasm and ejaculation are separate events, caused by separate systems in the male's body, though they usually occur at the same time. The term orgasm is commonly used when speaking of a male's ejaculation. Technically, however, orgasm is just the peak of the intense pleasurable feeling that usually follows a man being highly sexually excited.
Ejaculation is the term used for the expulsion of the fluids, the ejaculant, or cum, from the end of the penis.) He learns to make what has felt beyond his control more understandable and controllable.
Overcoming Premature Ejaculation
Focusing on the increasing erotic sensations of an impending orgasm, rather than trying to avoid feeling these sensations (by focusing on baseball scores, wearing two condoms, or applying desensitizing cream to the penis) has been proven the most successful method for assisting men and their partners in overcoming rapid ejaculation.
This approach was first developed in 1956 by Dr. J. Semens and has been modified by others including William Masters and Virginia Johnson in the late 1960's and early 1970's. Treatments for rapid ejaculation or any other sexual concern are highly individualized. Individuals or couples who desire help with sexual concerns may want to read more on the subject and, if the difficulties continue, seek the help of a trained sex therapist.
Certified sex therapists are available to help men and/or couples work on this problem. You can call AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, at (319) 895-8407 for a referral to someone in your area, or click here to visit ASSECT's website.
Copyright 2002 Sinclair Intimacy Institute